Joe Fancypants


  • Hell Hath No Fury

    Hell Hath No Fury

    Among the 3 boys we adopted from foster care is a child who fancies not only power, but control. He is the 2nd youngest of our kids, but pushing for adulthood. This kid has what one might refer to as breathtaking anger management difficulties. He’s fine when things go his way, but throw a monkey…

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  • The Arrivals

    The Arrivals

    There comes a time in one’s life when you have to hunker down and start taking responsibility for your life and your choices therein, as well as get a handle on your future. Afterall, you can’t stay in the bachelor mindset your whole life, can you? This chapter involves expansion. See, towards the end of…

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  • Check Me Out

    Check Me Out

    We have a friend that used to be known (county-wide) for saying and doing the most ridiculously stupid things in public and embarrassing himself, along with the others who happened to be with him. This friend will remain nameless, being as I don’t need any lawsuits here. One night we were all at this cheap…

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  • Fire Starters

    Fire Starters

    Every year, after the New Years celebrations and subsequent hangovers, we would proceed to take down our highly discounted tree; in a most unusual way. Most people simply take their tree, wrap it up in a couple of trash bags (to prevent a fire hazard) and throw it in a pile with the rest of…

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  • Oh Christmas Tree

    Oh Christmas Tree

    As many people know, bachelors seldom have more than two pennies to rub together. After all, it is hard to save your money when you have so many financial obligations at your feet, like: The purchase of alcoholic beverages, Macaroni & Cheese, and junk food. Not to mention having to throw wild parties each and…

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  • When the Cup Runneth Over

    When the Cup Runneth Over

    A friend of mine, now brother-in-law (long story) once started out as a mild mannered college student living on his own for the first time. Little to his knowledge, at the time, he was moving in with two of the devil’s advocates. Us advocates would eventually mold and sculpt this individual into the man he…

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  • Traffic Inspectors

    Traffic Inspectors

    Often times when one is bored, inventive ideas swirl about in the brain designed to shift the tides of boredom over to the side of fun. Now, fun is not always under the classification of wise, prudent, or legal. One such instance took place several times a week. My friend and I, who lived in…

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  • The Fridge

    The Fridge

    When we were young, we used to have all kinds of parties. Most of the week, in fact, consisted of: the methodical destruction or ‘strengthening’ of our livers. One morning after, we went downstairs to survey the postmortem apartment. We were greeted by a most unpleasant odor upon entering the kitchen; the smell that could…

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  • The Angry One

    The Angry One

    My bachelor experiences are many indeed. Some bad, some good, but all memorable. One particular memory is of my friend and once roommate. He had been enslaved at a local restaurant during the busiest week they ever had. He had been working about 17 hours a day and getting only about 2 hours of sleep,…

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